Now What? – Week 5

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Now what?

This is the first question that came to mind after the elation of the positive pregnancy test wore off. It’s the question that signified my being hit with a dose of reality (and, if I am honest, fear).

My internal conversation went something like this:

“ WOW, it’s positive. IT’S POSITIVE!! We’re pregnant. God, Thank you. Wow. We’re pregnant …Oh my goodness, we’re pregnant - Now what? We don’t know how to raise a child, how do we know which midwife to choose, what do I eat, I need vitamins, what if we miscarry this time, what did I did do, what do I do…?”

And, God intercepted my thoughts with:

“Kim, cast all your anxieties on me because I care for you.” Peace.

It was a sweet moment really, one reminiscent of many movie scenes when a loved one tenderly, yet firmly, keeps another from “falling off the deep end”. I could almost feel His hands as I imagined Him cupping my face, looking me in the eye, reassuring me that He has me, has us, in this process.

So, with that assurance we move forward. Yes, I still take vitamins, exercise and eat healthy (usually :D). But, as anxieties creep up (and they do), and fear attempts to seep in (and it does), I remember God’s words. He is a Sovereign God who created the universe in 6 days without lifting a single finger until He chose to fashion man with His hands. He has successfully populated the world for generations, creating people of all nationalities, in different locations, speaking different languages, all uniquely and individually knit together - in His image. And, He keeps it all going.

I think He can handle this, so I'm…

Striving to cast off anxieties,

Kim

p.s. I'm playing catch-up for the next few days/weeks, so there should be a few more updates (and pics) soon. The pics are more for my family and friends who aren't here to see the growth. A little way to take you with me on the journey...

Knit Together

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139: 13

This psalm has been one of my favorites for years. It speaks to the reality that God is ever present, everywhere, at all times. It reminds me that He is the infinite Sovereign Ruler over all, yet He is intimately aware of and concerned about all of aspects of my finite little life. He created me, sees me, knows me, protects me, comforts me, cares for me, and redirects me.

He. Is. There.

I have reflected on this psalm in numerous situations. In times of loneliness, misunderstandings, or rejection, I have been comforted by, “O Lord you have searched me and you know me” (v.1). In times when I have been angry with God, or determined to secretly “nurse “a sin, I am reminded. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?...even darkness will not be dark to you, the night will shine like the day”(v. 7, 12) In time of confusion about life’s direction I remember, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (v. 16) When I am in praise mode, reflecting on God’s wisdom, goodness, kindness, His “awesome-ness”, and how He simply IS, I think, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain” (v. 6).

And yet, with all of the ways God has used this psalm to impact my life, He reveals yet again that its application is inexhaustible. He has chosen to use yet another verse to bring me to my knees in humility, gratefulness, awe, and thanksgiving. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

For years, I have taught young ladies this verse, being reminded and encouraged personally, that God created us to be exactly who He wanted us to be, exactly how He wanted us be. He knit me - knit you – together in our mothers’ wombs. Yet this time, it’s application is different. This time – I am the mother!

In the weeks since we have found out we were expecting (we are 2 months along), God has taught me new lessons every week. Trusting that these lessons will continue, I will obediently share the journey. We covet your prayers. Blessings!

Learning to rest even more,

Kim