It’s been one of those days nights weeks.
It is 6:30am. And for the second night I have awakened at 12:30am-ish to nurse the babies and I am unable to fall back asleep. It’s been one
of those crazy, busy weeks. The hubby has been pulled away more than I would’ve
liked, making for long days and even longer nights. There are my on-going post-partum physical challenges –
because pregnancy alters everything. The almost 3 year old is being…an almost 3
year old. I have a long list of to-dos that feel like they are never getting
done. I am overwhelmed. And angry.
I start my mental raving about
birth control, and sleepless nights and no more…
And I stop.
I am gently reminded of four years ago. Four years ago I was
angry for another reason - the exact opposite reason. I wanted a child and a
year after a miscarriage – nothing. I was overwhelmed. And angry.
I do that sometimes - way too often actually. I will forget
that a blessing is a blessing. And falsely believe that blessing means "absence of difficulty." It doesn't.
I have a tendency to be like the Israelites. On the heels of
being delivered from the Egyptians after 400 years of slavery, seeing God
perform unbelievable miracles, and watching as their captors were destroyed,
they forgot that a blessing is a blessing. Freedom was a blessing. But, with
freedom came certain responsibilities. When faced with challenges, such as
being unable to find water or the food that they wanted, they grumbled and
complained, proclaiming that they would have preferred to go back to Egypt. Clearly, they had forgotten.
And, so had I. These three beautiful children are an answer
to prayer. They are fun (and funny) to watch. They bring joy and are a
reflection of God’s grace. They are living examples of God doing “exceedingly,
abundantly above all could ask or imagine.” (all 3 were born after
I turned 36).
Yes, there are certain responsibilities that come with
parenting. A lot. My life and body are not my own. Some “balls drop”, and other
things will take longer to get done. Parenting stretches me, and at times,
(like tonight/this morning) overwhelms me. But here is the truth,
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the
womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!”
Psalm
127:3-5.
And, as I am finishing this posting, the toddler comes joyfully
running in, lays his head on my shoulder, sings “Good morn-ging, Mommy” and
goes off to play with his trains and truck. Remembering that a blessing is a
blessing…
Kim
