Pondering God's Sovereignty

I've pondered something lately. Why do we only talk about God's sovereignty when things aren't well?

The loss of a job. "God is sovereign, He has something better planned." The loss of a child. "Rest in God's sovereignty, He knows your pain. He knows what He's doing." Struggling with life, finances, relationships, etc. "God is in control. He knows all, rules all..."

I'm starting to believe that part of my struggle with God's sovereignty isn't necessarily with His sovereignty at all. I'm starting to see that a significant issue is with my interpretation of His sovereignty.

Webster defines sovereignty as "supreme power especially over a body politic; freedom from external control; controlling influence; one that exercises supreme authority". Supreme is defined as "highest in rank or authority...degree or quality...ultimate, final".

Applying these definitions, God is the highest in rank and authority, in degree and quality. He is free from external control and is the ultimate controlling influence in the universe. He does not report to anyone, nor does He ask for permission to do anything. He sustains all. He is.

Paul states it this way, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.'For in him we live and move and have our being.'" (Acts 17:24-28)

Seems to me that is nothing to fear, nothing to fight. Yet, I do. I fear His control because it means that I am not. But honestly, I'm double-minded. I have no problem when the "living and moving" works in my favor. When He didn't heal my mother and she died, I spent years in "masked" anger. Yes, that was His Sovereignty. When He allowed me to meet my husband, graciously under some of the circumstances that I prayerfully requested years prior, that too was His Sovereignty. 

I'm slowly beginning to realize that resting in God's Sovereignty is going to require a paradigm shift. God is Sovereign. Period. When I get the new job. God is Sovereign. When I lose one. He's Sovereign. When it's sunny. He's Sovereign. When I'm caught in a storm. He's Sovereign.  When life goes how I want. God's Sovereign. When life sucks. The God who made the world and everything in it is Sovereign. Period. And I'll strive to remember that "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us..." 

Still learning to rest,

Kim 

Missing God

“…For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose”

Philippians 2:1

What do you know about missing God? Not missing Him as though He has gone away, but missing Him in action. I've had that experience quite a bit lately.

I’ve been so focused on what God has not done yet, that I’ve completely missed what He's been doing. If I’m honest, I tend to miss God when He doesn’t answer my prayers the way I expect (ok let’s be real- the way I want). But, He answers -according to His good purpose for my life. That’s where I missed it.

After coming out of the classroom, I expected God to have another opportunity waiting for me right around the corner. I’ve seen that before. As a matter of fact, every time I’ve moved to another state (and thus into another job/school) that has been the pattern. I get restless, I pray, He tells me to prepare to leave, I question, He confirms, I leave, He provides. And, I live “happily ever after” until the next time the pattern emerges. True to form, the pattern emerged. I got restless, prayed, left and….

A year and a half later, I’m still waiting on the provision. Or so I thought. As it turns out, I’ve simply missed the provision. After two days of darkness, crying, moping, complaining (i.e. a temper tantrum), my sweet husband comes home and asks a simple question “Do you want God’s will for our lives?” Light bulb! I’d missed it!

In January (yep January) I sensed I needed to schedule a meeting with someone. Two months later I finally did it, only he spent the majority of the time telling me I needed to go back to school, where to go, etc. Not interested. A few months prior, a friend of mine mentioned the exact same thing. Got the exact same response, “Uh, nope, not interested." Turns out, God was beginning to work in me to will according to His good purpose. Missed Him.

I was frustrated because I wanted to find a new career, a new calling, and those doors didn’t open. God granted me part time opportunities that took care of our needs, but allowed me the emotional rest and healing I didn’t know I would need. (The miscarriage was confirmed the day I was due back to start school – how would I have survived that year?) Missed Him.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that I didn’t connect with any of the jobs I’d come across. Mind you, I am not afraid of work. And, I have desires of how I want to serve. God said that I’m not ready yet. There is more preparation needed – school is a part of that. Missed Him.

I’ve complained about not being able to do/get everything I’ve wanted. Yet, God has provided all that we have needed – with a few wants thrown in just because.

Missed Him.

Oh, and the kicker? I just realized that I actually started this degree program about 13 years ago, but the timing wasn’t right. There were other things God needed to do in my life. Now, going back to school for counseling makes much more sense. Thirteen years ago, the desire was there, now some of the life experiences have caught up. Now for the training…

So, how are you missing God? What things are you believing in Him to provide that it seems He hasn’t done, at least not how you’d like? How has He answered, but not quite how you expected? I’ve spent useless energy and time in frustration simply because I’ve missed Him. I haven’t trusted that He really is working in me to will and to act according to His good purpose. Not just any purpose, but His GOOD one. I’ve missed it. Oh, and the next verse in Philippians says “Do everything without grumbling and complaining…” I've blown that, but that’s another blog…

Still learning about…

Resting in His Sovereignty,

Kim