In the Father’s Presence

I’ve been watching Enoch lately. At two years old, he is in that imitation stage. He imitates actions, words, intonations, and, from his momma, facial expressions. But, I have noticed something else. As much as I have seen ways that he imitates me, it is nothing like his interaction with his daddy.

Recently, I have noticed that he simply wants to be with his father, doing whatever he does. If it is building a bookshelf, Enoch grabs his tool chest, and comes right alongside to "help Daddy". If Reggie sits backwards on a chair, Enoch does it. He imitates everything – how daddy eats, what daddy drinks (“Enoch make coffee too”), and how daddy helps others. When he is disciplined by either of us, or simply not happy about a situation, he can be heard wailing, “Daaa-ddy”.  He loves his father, and knows that his father loves him. So, he wants to be like him, and wants to be with him – even in the face of discomfort.

The most eye-opening experience occurred this past Tuesday. Enoch has been having difficulty sleeping thru the night for about a week, waking up screaming and/or crying at least twice. Tuesday night, Reggie decided to sit in the chair in Enoch’s room. Just until he fell asleep. Enoch slept thru the night. Not a sound. Just the comfort of falling asleep in his daddy’s presence gave him peace.

I long to be like Enoch. To love the Father so much that I strive to imitate Him in every way. Even when it seems impossible. I long to be so attentive to what God is doing, that without question, I jump in, because I have already settled in my mind that if Daddy is doing it, it must be good. I long to learn to cry out for “Daddy”, even when He disciplines me, because I know it is because He loves me and He can rescue me. I long to be able to rest. To be at peace simply because I know that Daddy is with me.

 

This week, I am drawn to this psalm 

Psalm 84

"How lovely is your dwelling place,
 Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; 
my heart and my flesh cry out 
for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,
 and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young

—
  place near your altar,
 Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
 they are ever praising you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, 
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty listen to me, God of Jacob.

Look on our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; 
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; 
no good thing does He withhold 
from those whose walk is blameless. Lord Almighty, 
blessed is the one who trusts in you."

Resting in His Presence,

Kim

Tolerating vs Embracing

We live in a culture where “tolerance” is a buzz word. Employers instruct employees to be “tolerant” of one another’s religions, sexual preferences, lifestyles, etc. There are “tolerance” classes and seminars. Some groups are bashed for being “intolerant” when they don’t agree with the actions or belief systems of another.

Recently, however, God has challenged me on my “tolerance” levels. Particularly when it comes to His will. See, there is a problem with tolerance. It is incomplete. For purposes of the post, let’s use Merriam-Webster definitions of tolerance as “1) capacity to endure pain or hardship; 2a) sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own 2b) the act of allowing something."

Tolerant people have the mindset of putting up with something.

Now, contrast that with embracing, defined as “1a)to clasp in the arms : hug

1b) cherish, love 2) encircle, enclose 3a to take up especially readily or gladly 3b) to avail oneself of : welcome.

You know the difference. That annoying co-worker who doesn’t understand personal space. The boss who has all of the answers and no people skills. The family member who sucks the life out of family gatherings with complaining, fighting, begging, etc. Those are people we tend to tolerate. You endure them for the sake of enduring- usually because you feel as though you have to do so. And, it is rarely enjoyable.

However, there are those people we embrace. The sweet woman at church who always seems to have the right words to encourage, and if nothing else, a big hug. That friend who has your back – supports you and rebukes you as circumstances warrant it. Your sibling who knows your hopes and dreams, and has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Your child. Your spouse (hopefully). You want to spend time with them. You treasure it, arrange for it, look forward to it.

Transfer that to God’s will. I have come to realize over the last 2 weeks that I have been tolerating God’s will during this move. It is evident in thoughts like this “You’re God, you’re going to do what You want anyway.”  “I moved to Cali to obey You. Isn’t that enough?” "I’m here, but I don’t like it one bit.” Yes, I have obeyed, but I’m just putting up with His plan for now. Sure, I’ll serve as needed. Use my gifts when it is warranted, but underneath it all I simply view it as “enduring pain or hardship”.

He wants me to embrace His will. That does not mean it will not be difficult. That does not mean there will not be times when I want out.  But the attitude behind it will not be one of tolerating His will (and thus, Him), but one of embracing - out of love. Because I love Him, I am willing to do what He has called me to. Because of my love for Him I can respond as Paul “I count it all as dung for the sake of knowing Christ” or, like Mary, "May it be to be as you have said." Or, Christ “Not as I will, but thy will be done.”

I am learning that the distance between tolerance and embracing is a short, four letter walk – LOVE, but it will take a lifetime to fully achieve it. I’m starting my journey today.

Embracing HIM one day at a time,

Kim

Gillespie Jan/Feb Update - Expect the Unexpected

If we had to choose a theme for 2012, it would be ”expect the unexpected.” 2012 began full of plans, hopes and dreams. We had direction – we knew that sometime during the year we would be relocating to Richmond, CA. The anticipation was more than we could bear. Yes, we were nervous, unsure of what the future would hold, but we were excited to see what God would do. And we were full of expectations. 

We expected to move in June and decided Reggie would go ahead to start working and secure housing. Enoch and I planned to join him a month later after tying up loose ends in TN and spending time in North Carolina with family. We expected (assumed) that our family was complete for now. We began having conversations about adopting in the future. We expected a smooth, easy transition into 

California living, getting into a home and feeling settled by six months. We expected to develop amazing relationships with those in our community as a result of hosting in our own home. 

Reality was… 

Within two weeks of leaving Tennessee, several employment prospects fell through, in very odd ways, while a couple of people informed us that God laid it on their hearts to support us as missionaries. We never mentioned we planned to be missionaries. In fact, we had no intentions of being full time missionaries again, but God was making it very clear that those were His plans for our lives.  

Six weeks after arriving in CA, Reggie and I had a conversation that we believed our family was complete for the time being, and we would look into adopting in the future. Unbeknownst to us, we were already pregnant. And, at our 20 week ultrasound we found out we were pregnant with twin girls.   

Our transition has been anything but smooth. We stayed in 5 temporary housing situations in 7 months – with a two year old, while pregnant, and adapting to a new and very different culture. 

We have developed amazing relationships. But, not in the way we had anticipated. We have been the recipient of God’s grace as people have hosted us, prayed for us, prayed over us, encouraged us, supported us, cried with us, loved on us, given to us, and held us up in what has been some of our weakest moments. 

We admit, we do not want a repeat of the challenges of 2012. It has, by far, been one of the hardest times of our lives. Yet, we see God’s hand in the unexpected. We have grown tremendously in 7 short months. We have learned to trust God more. We have learned to pray with fervency and expectation. We have learned that God is a provider even when the provision does not look as we expected. We have grown together as a couple, learning to fight for and with one another in trying times instead of against one another. We have learned that God sustains.  And we have seen true community in action. Oh, and in 2013 we have decided to free ourselves from expecting anything 

other than God to be God. 

While we have seen God’s hand in unexpected ways in our personal lives, we have also seen Him move as we have used our gifts of serving, teaching, craftsmanship, wisdom, etc. 

There have been many opportunities to serve our community, from weekly Saturday services where breakfast is served to the homeless and under-served in our area to hosting our 1st eye clinic, which provided eye care services (including free glasses) to almost 500 people 

in our county. Pictured from top to bottom: Thursday night weekly outreach to the Richmond High football team, our first Victory Weekend Women’s retreat and children from AWANA, our outreach to children in Richmond.

I feel like LHNC is a modern day Gideon’s army - a picture of God’s ability to do much with very few- in the end He gets the glory! 

Breaking free from expecting anything other than God to be God, 

Reggie, Kim, Enoch (and the twins) 

Prayer  |  Praise 

• After 7 months and many, many prayers, we are finally in our own apartment!!!!!  
• Kim had the opportunity to speak at our Victory Weekend women’s retreat Jan 11&12. It is amazing to hear of ways women have and are experiencing victory in their lives. You can hear all of the talks at www.lhnchurch.org. Go to “Sermons”. 

Please pray… 

• That the pregnancy will continue on smoothly, with no complications and that the twins go full term. …In the words of Enoch, Kim has a very “BIG belly”  
• That we are aware and obedient as God provides various ways for us to serve our community. 
• Continue to pray for our support raising/ministry partner development. We are praying for and trusting God to be fully supported by the time the twins arrive.  

Your financial support can be given online at lhnchurch.org or mailed to

Living Hope Neighborhood Church 2800 Rheem Ave.  |  Richmond, CA 94804