A (Not so) Gentle Rebuke: God Knows What you Need…People Don’t.

Dear Believers, Sisters and brothers in Christ, Followers of the One true God, 

Let’s talk.

Over the last year, I have learned many very valuable lessons, about the Lord, about myself, and about what it means to live in community with other believers. One (of the many) verses that has impacted me is, "Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:8).  I love this verse. It reminds me that God is Sovereign (supreme ruler of all) and that He is omniscient (knows everything). It reminds me that I do not need a formula or specific words, and even though I will not always "get it right" in prayer, He is still a loving provider. Yes, He likes to be asked – similar to my occasional desire for Enoch to actually ask me for a peanut butter sandwich at lunchtime, even though I’m preparing to give him one anyway. God knows. But, asking acknowledges our dependency on Him and our appreciation for who He is. Asking is a part of the relationship we are developing with Him. I love this.

My gentle rebuke is for those of us who expect people to be God. The verse says that GOD knows what we have need of before we ask. People don’t.  Your spouse, small group leader, friend, pastor, co-worker, etc. has no real clue about what you need unless you make your needs known. And, sometimes, you truly may not know what you need. You may realize something is amiss, but are unable to fully articulate how to "fix it". If that happens, its ok. But say that. Be honest. Be real. Be authentic. 

I am guilty of this (the Lord and my husband knows). I will be angry about something. Well, honestly, I will usually be hurt or disappointed by something, and it manifests itself as anger. My husband will ask me what is wrong. You know the typical answer - a huffed up, eye-rolling, neck-cocking, foot-stomping  “Nothing.” And then I sulk off into a corner or room, alone.

Lies. All lies.

I may try to hide it under the guise of "keeping the peace" or, if I try to put a biblical spin on it "living at peace" as much as it is left up to me. But, this is not keeping the peace, or being polite, this is lying. And lying is sin.

There is something wrong. My husband knows it, I know it, God knows it, and any living individual in the general vicinity knows it. 

There seems to be this cultural thing within American Christian churches where we go from one extreme to the other – we either complain and fuss about everything with a sense of entitlement or we pretend that everything is “hunky-dorey”(whatever that means), and tell everyone we are good, life is good, church is good, and God is good (all the time).  Meanwhile, we are crumbling, depressed, angry, bitter, withdrawn, and “breaking up" with spouses, family members, friends, churches, pastors, schools, jobs, and whoever or whatever else fails to meet our needs and expectations.

Disagreements within the Body of Christ are not new. Paul saw his share and was personally involved in some (with Peter and Barnabas). He pleaded with two women to be of the same mind in the book of Philippians. Disagreements happen. How we handle them makes the difference.

"In your anger, do not sin..." (Ephesians 4:26a - actually the entire chapter is great to read for this)

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses..."(Matthew 18:15-16)

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.." (Philippians 2:1-5, again, the entire chapter is helpful)

Only God is perfect, and perfectly holy. The Bible tells us that.

 “There is no one holy like the LORD, Indeed, there is no one besides Thee, Nor is there any rock like our God (1 Samuel 2:2).

The rest of us are fallen, imperfect individuals, prone to blow it, disappoint, deceive, and frustrate. The Bible tells us that.

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

So what we need is God's grace.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Then, we are to extend grace to others,

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)

So, the next time someone blows it, fails you, disappoints you, or falls short of your expectations, do them a favor and tell them, then, try to cut them some slack. And prayerfully, they will work to do the same with you. 

Gratefully His,

Kim