Missing God

“…For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose”

Philippians 2:1

What do you know about missing God? Not missing Him as though He has gone away, but missing Him in action. I've had that experience quite a bit lately.

I’ve been so focused on what God has not done yet, that I’ve completely missed what He's been doing. If I’m honest, I tend to miss God when He doesn’t answer my prayers the way I expect (ok let’s be real- the way I want). But, He answers -according to His good purpose for my life. That’s where I missed it.

After coming out of the classroom, I expected God to have another opportunity waiting for me right around the corner. I’ve seen that before. As a matter of fact, every time I’ve moved to another state (and thus into another job/school) that has been the pattern. I get restless, I pray, He tells me to prepare to leave, I question, He confirms, I leave, He provides. And, I live “happily ever after” until the next time the pattern emerges. True to form, the pattern emerged. I got restless, prayed, left and….

A year and a half later, I’m still waiting on the provision. Or so I thought. As it turns out, I’ve simply missed the provision. After two days of darkness, crying, moping, complaining (i.e. a temper tantrum), my sweet husband comes home and asks a simple question “Do you want God’s will for our lives?” Light bulb! I’d missed it!

In January (yep January) I sensed I needed to schedule a meeting with someone. Two months later I finally did it, only he spent the majority of the time telling me I needed to go back to school, where to go, etc. Not interested. A few months prior, a friend of mine mentioned the exact same thing. Got the exact same response, “Uh, nope, not interested." Turns out, God was beginning to work in me to will according to His good purpose. Missed Him.

I was frustrated because I wanted to find a new career, a new calling, and those doors didn’t open. God granted me part time opportunities that took care of our needs, but allowed me the emotional rest and healing I didn’t know I would need. (The miscarriage was confirmed the day I was due back to start school – how would I have survived that year?) Missed Him.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that I didn’t connect with any of the jobs I’d come across. Mind you, I am not afraid of work. And, I have desires of how I want to serve. God said that I’m not ready yet. There is more preparation needed – school is a part of that. Missed Him.

I’ve complained about not being able to do/get everything I’ve wanted. Yet, God has provided all that we have needed – with a few wants thrown in just because.

Missed Him.

Oh, and the kicker? I just realized that I actually started this degree program about 13 years ago, but the timing wasn’t right. There were other things God needed to do in my life. Now, going back to school for counseling makes much more sense. Thirteen years ago, the desire was there, now some of the life experiences have caught up. Now for the training…

So, how are you missing God? What things are you believing in Him to provide that it seems He hasn’t done, at least not how you’d like? How has He answered, but not quite how you expected? I’ve spent useless energy and time in frustration simply because I’ve missed Him. I haven’t trusted that He really is working in me to will and to act according to His good purpose. Not just any purpose, but His GOOD one. I’ve missed it. Oh, and the next verse in Philippians says “Do everything without grumbling and complaining…” I've blown that, but that’s another blog…

Still learning about…

Resting in His Sovereignty,

Kim