Week 10 - Still Anxious

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-8

Yes, I have already blogged about this verse, in week 6 to be exact. Seems like this verse will be one I will have to revisit and “carry” with me, if not in writing, at least in my head and heart, for the next few months.

It’s tempting. Tempting to believe that by worrying I can actually control the situation, that somehow I can maneuver or strategize enough to get the result that I desire. And yet the reality stares me in the face - “I can’t”. I constantly hear Christ’s rhetorical question, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27). And still I worry – a clear indication of my lack of faith and trust in God and His wisdom.

I can do absolutely nothing and yet He can do absolutely everything. So why am I worried? There are so many things that I have convinced myself that I must be concerned with. This week I had what I considered a scare. Sent me reeling, expecting the worse, believing/thinking I was destined for a negative outcome. Nothing bad happened. All that worrying for nothing.

For whatever reason, it is difficult for me to expect the best. As hard as I may try to believe otherwise, I’m a pessimist (this fault inspired one of Reggie’s 1^st nicknames for me). This is what we pessimists “do” – we worry – and as a result we displease God. “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6)

The proper response is trust. This is what prayer, petitioning and thanksgiving reflect – trust, an acknowledgement that I am totally incapable of controlling my circumstances, so I willingly and gratefully choose to give it over to the One who can.

By the way, as God (the One who is really in control) would have it, two days after my scare, I had my first prenatal appointment. The baby was still too small for the midwife to hear the heartbeat, so she decided to do a quick ultrasound. There s/he was, squirming, wiggling all over. And better than hearing it, we watched the heartbeat. And I promise I could hear God say, “See, told you. All that worrying for nothing.”